Dear Carol,
Over spring break, I started hanging out more with this one boy. He texted he was crushing on me…and I texted back I was crushing on him, too! We hung out a bit, but break’s over and we go to different schools, so now I only see him at church. A few weeks ago, his best friend made all the boys in our youth group do some weird “bro pact” thing, swearing that they wouldn’t like-like any girls in the group. My crush went along with it. I was sad but got over him. A couple days ago, his best friend said he still liked me…but I only like him as a friend now. Last night I went to a party, and I’m 90% sure my new crush from school was flirting with me the whole time. I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. What should I do?
– Crush Confused
Dear Crush Confused,
Sounds like you want to see how things might go with the new crush, not the boy who let your budding romance get annihilated by some “bro pact.” You and he were never offi cial, right? And he got caught up in peer pressure. Move on. No need to spell it out—you don’t owe him an explanation. If the new crush doesn’t work out, that’s OK. If the first boy finds his way back to you, that’s OK, too. Fact is, you’re going to keep meeting more and more guys. I’m glad that you don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, but your feelings count, too. Take your time figuring this stuff out.
Carol Weston is the author of 16 books including Speed of Life (about a girl who writes to an advice columnist). More at carolweston.com and on Instagram @carolwestonnyc.
In search of more advice? Check out our Dear Carol’s below:
💞 “Dear Carol, I Just Can’t Get Over My Crush”
💞 “Dear Carol, My Siblings Get All The Attention”
💞 “Dear Carol, I Like This Boy Who Doesn’t Know I Exist”
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