Dear Carol,
My friends all seem to have their own problems and dump them on me. However, when I have *my* problems, they never listen and always find a way to turn it back to them.
– My friends don’t listen
Dear My Friends Don’t Listen,
Conversations should be part listening, part talking, and ideally you can also have one-on-one exchanges—not just group discussions. If you’re a good listener, I don’t blame you for wanting your friends to be there when you’re the one who needs to vent. You may need to make this clear: “Hey, I’d really like your thoughts on this, so let me tell you what’s going on.” I hope you and your friends are also laughing and having fun together, and not just “dumping” on each other, to use your verb. Sharing a pizza shouldn’t always feel like group therapy.
Carol Weston is the author of 16 books including Speed of Life (about a girl who writes to an advice columnist). More at carolweston.com and on Instagram @carolwestonnyc.
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